Quests and Adventures in Online Shopping

Okay, so I want to know how many other people in the world have had this problem. Have you ever had a very exact idea of something that you want/need, and just no matter how hard you look, and how many hours of your life you waste (in others' eyes) in search of this, you just can't find it?

That is the synopsis of my Quest for the Perfect Bag.

Here is the problem: I have so many requirements for this bag, it's probably impossible for me to find it without commissioning some artisan in Nova Scotia to make it for me.

1. It must be big enough to carry hold elegantly and comfortably anywhere from one to four books, + WKP, + a sweater or scarf, + hat and mittens, + a notebook, + Lucy the MacBook if I feel that her company is necessary, + a cosmetic bag, + a Tupperware or coffee mug, + candy to sneak into the movie theater for me and all my friends, + also things for nannybaby, like food, spare clothes, + losable items like socks and toys and mittens and hats… but not look weird and schlumpy if I love the bag so much I want to carry it when I only need my mantra of WKP (wallet, keys, phone). Or, for that matter, weird and schlumpy if I have all of these things packed into it.
2. It must be within my financial range: less than $100, preferably less than $60. Really preferably, less than $50.
3. It must look classic enough in its general shape and style that it will last outside of whatever the current trend is, but not vintage-y enough that it looks dowdy or worse, costumey.
   - for example, I love what is sometimes called the "crossbody" trend, but I don't like messenger bags.
   - for example, I love Longchamps totes for their size, but they do not satisfy requirement #2. or #1, actually, due to shoulder aches. they may not even stand up to #4 (see below). but really the most important is #2. No, I am not a miser, I just like to eat.
4. It must stand up to absolutely horrendous weather and not let that weather get inside, kind of like Aegeus and the 4 winds... only the other way around and not, like, life-threateningly dangerous. So maybe not at all like Aegeus. Maybe I should stop quoting the classics in relation to what one might consider "trivial" topics like purse shopping.
5. It must, if not *be* unique, look unique enough that I have a very good chance of never seeing another person carrying it. I have one bag like this. I got it in London and it is falling apart, literally, because every 3 times I take it out of the house, I get compliments on it.
6. It must have lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of pockets. Otherwise, I have a weird, schlumpy-looking bag that I have to scrounge through to find big things (like my brain). Also, I enjoy being organized - in theory. In practice I am organized for about 10 minutes out of every month, though I probably spend about 8 hours out of every month preparing to be organized. There's something clearly not quite balanced about that... not sure what it is...
7. It must have a decent strap-drop. None of this "oh yes, I am going to waltz all over the city without a car carrying a bag weighing approximately four tons by the handles that are 8 inches long" business. I wear about 8 layers (legit) during the winter, so the straps have to fit comfortably over my shoulder without a great deal of contortionism and manœvering of elbows and forearms through them.
8. Speaking of straps, I would prefer not to need a $65 massage when I get home because of the teenytiny straps digging into my trapezoidal muscle. I.E., nice wideish straps.
   
9. It must have an actual bottom panel, so that things stay where I put them.
10. It must be of a color and pattern neutral enough to look nice with anything I wear, but still have a pop or zing to it so as not to be boring. (Boring = BAD)
11. I like (it mustn't necessarily) having the option of either a shoulder bag or a "crossbody bag". So 3 straps are nice. And if the long one is detachable, so much the better.
12. It must be made durable enough that I will be able to use it in graduate school (¡¡¡¡omg senior year omg!!!!)

Ummm I think that's it.... well, I've been hunting for this Platonian Idea of a bag for months now - clipping to Kaboodle, checking my favorite Schaufensterbummel sites, stalking TJ Maxx and Targé, and so on and on and on and on.

Then, thanks to the lovely Sally over at Already Pretty, I discovered Etsy, an amazing community of artisans (remember I mentioned artisans in Minnesota or Saskatchewan or somewhere?) selling their handmade (does requirement #5 ring a bell here?) wares.... and suddenly, this evening, as I was leafing through the 2000+ pages of large tote bags, some with 3 straps, some two, many durable, hundreds under $50, all utterly, captivatingly gorgeous, I suddenly thought that maybe, just maybe, my quest isn't a hopeless one after all. Maybe I have a better chance of finding this perfect, affordable, durable, beautiful, comfortable, practical bag than (ahem) Frodo did of successfully dropping the Ring into Mount Doom.....

I will leave you with that thought.

Love and kisses